Passive-Aggressive Much?

Our neighborhood is nice. It’s a quiet, semi-tree lined street. The block ends a handful of houses down from us, so there aren’t any racing cars. People sit on their porches and tend to their yards and walk their dogs.

When Hubs and I were looking at houses last year the one thing we didn’t weigh was exactly who we would be living next to.

To the left we have a nice couple, about our age. He is a highway patrolman, she is a stay-at-home mom. Very nice people.

To the right we have, let’s call her….Debbie. Debbie is in her mid-fifties. She’s a widow, her husband passed away about a year before we moved in. For the most part, she is a very nice woman. She does however, have a bit of a drinking problem. She’s a tad on the trashy side. And by tad I mean she is the very definition. That sounds mean, I know. But I’m irritated here, work with me. Ok, seriously-there is a part of me that feels a tiny bit sorry for her.

Anywho…

Along with a tolerance that would make any college co-ed proud, she has a little dog. That she walks several times a day.

And when she walks this little dog, she pays no attention to the world around her.

Specifically, where little dog is pooping. Little dog may have had some of Debbie’s beer. Or vodka. Or a couple of Mai-Tais, cause this cutie S#^ts EVERYWHERE!
AND

Everywhere includes our yard.

AND

Our sidewalk. Yes, the freaking sidewalk! In the middle of the sidewalk, right smack-dab in front of MY HOUSE.

Maybe I am a little less tolerant since I’m not a dog owner myself. Maybe I should leave poor Debbie to her drink and just shake my head, clean up the shit and go about my business.

But I can’t.

That said, I’m not really the confrontational type. The thing is that I’ve been on the porch when she walks little dog. She will come up and stand next to the porch and chatter on about nothing at all forever. All the while, the dog is running around in my yard on his 500 foot long leash and relieving himself in my flower bed, on my walk, under my tree….and she just keeps talkin’. She is totally and completely oblivious to the fact that he’s crapping everywhere.

It’s fairly obvious that she does not live on the same plane as the rest of us. I swear to gawd, I don’t think the thought has entered her mind that we might not appreciate the pile of dog doo all over. She is totally oblivious. Out there. Gone.

So last weekend we had some wonderful weather for a change. I sat on my porch swing with a cup of hot tea and my laptop and enjoyed a couple of cigarettes. Which I flipped into her yard.

This behavior is wrong. I know this. But on some level it made me feel better. Not that she has any idea or would even notice.

I’m thinking the next step is emptying the hamster cage onto her sidewalk.

Or a flaming bag of degu poop.

Or, I could stop being a big baby and politely ask her to stop allowing her dog to S*#t in my yard.